two hundred-forty second.

dear (k)you,

it's starting again. i'm so scared.

God help me.

i want to remain in my vacation cocoon, away from him. i will never admit it: he's my closes friend, but he's also the most toxic. 

i can't deal with this toxic friendship.

two hundred-forty first.

dear (k)you,

GAME OVER. it's game over with the little boy.

I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT HIM AGAIN!

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM!

TO LOOK AT HIM!

TO TALK ABOUT HIM!

TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM!

I HOPE HIS ASS GETS WHIPPED BIG TIME, AND HIS EGO BE TRASHED EPICALLY.

i will no even write here what happened to make me say those words, but i want to feel nothing already. he doesn't deserve this. it may look like i lost this game, but really, it's him who lost. because he let someone like me go.

 

two hundred-fortieth.

dear (k)you,

i know i said i wouldn't give a rat's ass about the little boy anymore, but fuck.

i don't know what the fuck is with him. he's moving on with his life, with his "chicks" and i am still hung up on him. and i don't even know why.

it's not like he and i had something special.

but the thing is, i know him.

see there's this girl who's head over heels with him. and we kinda find it funny that she is, since she doesn't know the real him. he's real handsome yes, but he's a fucking jerk.

and the difference between her and me, is that i know how much of a jerk he is, and i still like him. 

after all this time...

i still fucking like him.

fuck.