two hundred-fifty ninth.

dear (k)you,

there's a reason why i pressed that hide button. 

but sometimes, things don't work out, and one or two things escape. 

and i see them.

and it breaks my heart.

i don't even know him.

we never shared anything more than that.

but i still feel sad.

i need to stop making things up in my head.

UGH. i wish she meets her dream man in that four seasons hotel!

and she runs of with that dream man! and the foreigner will be left alone!

evil i know. but fuck it.

two hundred-fifty eighth.

dear (k)you,

again. the thought of the foreigner is haunting me.

why? i knew this day would come eventually right? i was always waiting for it, saying that it has come (of course we both know that i was only saying that to make myself less hopeful, but deep inside i was hoping that i was heck wrong, because yknow OAO loves to make me wrong and "disappoint" me -- which stupid of me to say right now cuz He would know, but then again he's OAO, so He prolly knows it anyway)

gooing back....

so yeah, but still, i knew this day would come. because things never stay nice for me.

so i hate myself for hoping. because then it makes all this so painful, and frustrating.

cuz in the end... what did i think was gonna happen? that he'd like me? yeah right. this is hopeless. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR WANTING MORE

and yes, this is what happens when you want more.

you get nothing. no, sorry, you do get something out of it...

a fucking broken heart. and ego.

two hundred fifty-seventh.

dear (k)you,

oh God. i am so drunk.

my mom's friends thought it funny to get me drunk.

good thing i am at home.

but jeez

why do i keep thinking about him?

fucking foreigner.

all i can say to him is this:

"i dare you to let me be, your one and only. i promise i'm worthy to hold in your arms. so come on and give me a chance to prove that i am the one who can walk the mile until the end starts."

God why can't he just like me?