two hundred-eighty second.

dear (k)you,

so it's almost a year since i last visited (well actually wrote) here. the do or die thing in the last post is now over and done with. i did (not died), so safe to safe that's something we can cross off the list now. several things have changed since a year ago.

1: the douchebag. if i'm not mistaken, the last entry i made about him was him having a +1. well, said +1 is now -1. i'm not so sure though if i could have enough courage once again to make my move. i think i prolly already blew it with him. heh.

2: the doctor. he's married now. didn't see that one coming. goes to show i'm too self-absorbed.

3: the friend. he's still my friend. there's nothing really new about that.

and a few other things about a few more people which i do not want to get into anymore. they're not important.

now we get into the now. i've been trying this online thing for quite a while now and so far it has yielded quite a few. i've progressed with several boys, from different parts of the world, in different levels (before you think of what kind of levels, let me just make it clear that all this is starting as a twisted-sick-long-distance-relationship) anyway, so far there's been 3.

1: the prince: i call him prince because he lives there with the queen. it was fun with him, getting the cute morning messages and in between work talks. but then he suddenly up and decided he didn't want to talk to me anymore. prolly found someone else.

2: the emperor: i call him emperor because of his roots. the guy lives in the land of the free and has no trace of his ethnic roots, but whatever. him i think really likes me, and he's okay to talk to. but, i dunno. my unrealistic standards are being a pain. but see, i just can't see myself with him.

3: hitler jr: ha. now. as the name implies, compared to the other two, he seems like a bad move. but i dunno. i feel butterflies whenever he texts. i feel sad whenever he doesn't. but i don't want to jinx this. i have a habit of putting so much emotional investment on nothing. so i don't want to this time. i don't want to with this one.

shit.