hundred-fifty fifth.

dear (k)you,

so it's been a week of school already, and i feel like i've been going to school for a month. not a good sign if i want to survive this semester unscarred. but i will. so anyway, it's not only school that's being a pain, lately i've been having poor self-esteem levels. i mean, it's crazy. i know i'm not drop dead pretty and boys don't really like me for more than 5 seconds, but i dunno. i feel lonely.

so my friend (who's having the same issues as i am) and i were talking about why we think we repel boys. and we came into the conclusion that it's because we hang out at the wrong places and very, very rarely go out if that. but it's not like i can do anything about that! school is being such a hindrance cuz 1) my schedule does not even permit me to have free time at home and 2) my instruments are so freak ass expensive, i don't even have enough to get by. so yeah. we end up going out once in a blue moon and we hang out in cheap places where boys we like, or at least THINK (i say think because i don't think in hell we deserve them) are worthy of us, do not hang out at all.

but then i realized, there's another reason i do not have someone special. it's because when all is said and done, i know, that even if a guy presents himself in front of me, i wouldn't say yes still. because, even though i complain and sulk in my low self-esteem-ness... i still refuse, because yeah, i'm waiting for you. okay not you you, cuz let's face it, if i wait for you, i might as well not anymore. but anyway, i think i'm waiting for someone like you.

and someone like you isn't likely to be found here, even if i do hang out in a different place every freaking day.

so there. in the end, i still managed to pin my incapacity to attract the opposite sex on you...

i'm actually getting good at this don't you think?