hundred-sixty first.

dear (k)you,

i guess i'm just being overly emotional, and maybe it is that time of the month for me already, but anyway, to put it simply, these days, i'm very (very, very, very, very) depressed. and it didn't help (actually, i think it was the trigger) that another one of my classmates would be migrating.

why is everyone migrating so suddenly?

the truth is, i'm very sad here. school makes me very sad as is. my classmates don't actually help. it's also not helping that i think, to put it bluntly, so ugly that no guy in his right mind would look at me. and that i'm freakass insecure with every girl around me. and that i'm not doing so well in school. and that i've been studying for 6 years already and i still don't have a fucking diploma, so i can't even escape this hell hole i'm in.

they say that i'm so negative about it, but this isn't where i pictured myself now. i never pictured myself to be so lonely, and sad, and pathetic. i mean, all i do is study, and i don't even get good grades.

honestly, i just can't catch a break. for 6 years already, i just can't seem to catch a break.

i'm miserable in my school. i'm miserable in this forsaken country. i'm miserable with my life.

i'm such a little ray of sunshine aren't i?

OAO can't even give me a break, not even hasten time (actually i think You're deliberately making it slow down just to spite me-- but then again, that's Your favorite hobby anyway right?) but i mean come on. can't 68 days fly by? just the 68 days.

but of course. knowing OAO.

and just because i'm feeling mighty depressed: my answer to the question "who's "OAO"? is this:

"oh. you know when you want something so so so bad and you close your eyes and wish with all your might that somehow you'll be able to get what you want and be happy? OAO is the guy who ignores you."