two hundred-sixty sixth.

dear (k)you,

sooner or later i had to write something about this. 

okay so here's the thing. there's this new guy in school. let's say for the moment we call him "the kid", cuz yeah, what else will you call a first year when you're on your nth year?

anyway, the kid. the kid is all counts of jerk. kinda follows the footsteps of the little boy. but whatever, he's got all the makings of a head turner. being tall like that, duh. pretty obvious fact. i think he's kinda taller than the little boy.

well anyway. he's been blinking in my radar for a pretty long time already. and it's irritating me. because, like i said he's got all counts following the little boy's footsteps. and fuck, we all know what kind of road that leads to.

but see, the difference between the kid and the little boy, is that the kid piqued my interest because he reminded me so much of a certain person.

who you ask?

you.

yeah. 5 plus years sober from you and now i'm back. fuck.

technically i was sober from you. it really was years that i never really thought about you in that way. i got this journal thing going, but it was like you were a poster i was talking to yknow? more of just going through the motions.

but now, it's sort of back. because of the kid.

see, i knew right when i saw him that he was trouble. didn't like him for a while, because he was so much like the little boy. but when the fucking little boy disappeared, the kid started reminding me of you.

sucks.

and now he's like this itch at the back of my head.

two hundred-sixty fifth.

dear (k)you,

so. i sincerely hope that i am over reacting right now. and that i am being paranoid like hell. but see, it's my friend's birthday today. and we have this group chat thing where some of us greeted her. and she said thank you to every single one... except me.

okay sure. there might be a myriad of reasons why she didn't that doesn't involve her hating on me. but see, we also have this friend we have, who we kinda have a falling out with. and we usually do that to her. i mean, not react to things that she says on the group chat. and i think i'm so paranoid of being like her.

i mean, i cannot for the life of me think of any reason why the hell i'd be treated like our grandma friend. since the last time we saw each other was about a few weeks ago, and we parted ways really good.

so i don't know. i think my messages just don't appear on her phone? a similar thing happened too. ugh. 

this is so frustrating.

add to the fact that i did something stupid on the game i was playing. and the show i'm watching is being a bith and doesn't want to download properly. and the thought of the foreigner is bugging my LIKE HELL.

ugh. 

frustrating.

two hundred-sixty fourth.

dear (k)you,

so funny thing happened today. i'd like to call it fate. my heart truly, truly wants to call it fate. but well, we'll go with funny.

anyway, so my friend and i were walking, about to eat. just a normal thing for us. well actually no. it was a weird time, because both us barely ate lunch, and both of us didn't have patients that day, so we kinda decided to eat at an off hour.

so again, anyway, we were walking in the mall right beside our university. the mall i've eaten lunch at for the past 8 years of my life. and guess who just fucking happens to pass by?

yeap. the foreigner. and i quote, "of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, (s)he walks into mine" or in his words, "man the chances of that happening"

FUCK. this is so fucked up. i actually came into terms that i wouldn't see him this whole visit. i made a promise to myself, that if he makes good on his promise to have a drink with me (like he'd ever, but on the off chance that he does), i'd come up with a stupid excuse to get out of it.

and i finally felt that it was going to happen, since i think he's leaving already. but i had to run into him. 

in my uniform.

and i chickened out. i couldn't even say hi.

how pathetic is that? 

i. couldn't. even. say. hi.

what are the chances that i'd ever get to see him again? 

never.
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never.

two hundred-sixty third.

dear (k)you,

well, today is the first day of a new year. i just thought i should write in here, even though i'm not really the type to post new year posts. lol.

anyway, the past year was a bit better, it may have not been MY year, but it was a better one than the crap 2012 i had. big events happened this year in my life, and i'd like it if OAO would let me go a step further. lol.

speaking of big events, the foreigner, incidentally, is here. we're actually in the same time zone right now, though he is with his 'awesome' girl. ps: please note the '' on the word awesome. i refuse to acknowledge her awesomeness. right, now i'm spewing nonsense.

anyway, this year, i still have the same new year's wishes. though, i wish for you to meet me- and fall madly in love. lol. impossible i know, but well, OAO could get tired of me praying for these things, he might actually have a random wave of soft heartedness towards me and just grant me my wish. lol. yeah, that'll be the day.

anyway. enough of this. all i really wanted to say was "happy new year!" <3 b="" nbsp="">