hundred-ninth.

dear (k)you,

so yeah, it's exam season for me now. again. as if it ever stopped. anyway, i'll have my first exam, in roughly 30 hours. i've gone through everything already, but well, might not be enough. it's never enough in my hell-inspired school. so yeah. it's really been the longest time since i refrained from getting news from you. i say refrained because OAO knows how much i have wanted to really check out how you're doing, but i didn't want to. i don't know, is it my way of forgetting you? (cuz frankly if it is, it's not working seeing as i am here again talking to you moronically - although you hafta hand it to me, these have been greatly reduced) but whatever, my life is a standstill until now. nothing interesting is happening, or even going to happen. i so i guess i still look forward to that moment. that moment i wear that freaking toga, march on that forsaken stage and get that long-deserved diploma. and finally hop on the next plane out and leave this sorry excuse for a country.

yeah, i talk so big and mean. like i care. i really have no feelings when it comes to this place. none at all. i mean, the people here with me are great. if i can all pack them into one box and bring them with me, why not. but this place in general is a place where development is not possible. it fell into a rut, and it's either going to stay there, or (the more likely one) fall deeper. it's a place where i can't see myself being happy.

where you are on the other hand... well. it's a sparkling place, where love can happen. and i am counting on that ad to deliver okay? so you better be ready when i get there (i might make plans to go there to check things out, before i make it permanent)

yeah. i talk scary i know. scares me too.