dear (k)you,
okay, so yesterday, the whole world was watching the "royal wedding". prince william, marries kate middleton. and funny thing happened, i was crying buckets! i mean what the hell is wrong with me? why would ANYONE cry on a wedding that's not theirs? LET ALONE A TOTAL STRANGER'S, miles and miles away.
of course, kate middleton isn't your typical bride, i mean, who wakes up and marries a prince? but for a fraction of a day, i was HELL JEALOUS. yeah, cuz she was so darn pretty! and happy! she had a fairy tale ending, and well it got my wandering...
... why do good things never happen to me? :(
ps: i don't need to marry a prince, i only need you. :(
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
hundred-forty seventh.
dear (k)you,
so yeah, i just found out one of my closest friends got engaged. she said it's been a while already, but they're keeping it a secret.
i know i should be a good friend and be happy for them, and i am actually, but i can't fully shake off that bitter feeling! i mean, last night, my baby cousin was being all curious and asking stuff like, "how old will you be when i'm x years old?" and then she got all depressed finding out that on her birthday, we're all old and she started worrying about people going to her party. and then one of my aunts go and say, "she (meaning me), may be old but at that time she probably has a baby already..."
and i was like... NAT! i mean i get it, i'm not really the type of girl ANY guy would want to have, let alone marry! back in the day, i can barely keep a guy interested in me for more than 5 seconds, nowadays, I'VE LOST THAT 5 SECONDS!
this is funny yes, but as early as now, i'm actually accepting my fate that maybe i am going to be without a partner (i say partner because no matter what i am still going to have a kid, with or without a partner)
so if i think about it, TECHNICALLY, what my aunt said is true.
oh what the fuck who am i kidding? i feel bad. period.
so yeah, i just found out one of my closest friends got engaged. she said it's been a while already, but they're keeping it a secret.
i know i should be a good friend and be happy for them, and i am actually, but i can't fully shake off that bitter feeling! i mean, last night, my baby cousin was being all curious and asking stuff like, "how old will you be when i'm x years old?" and then she got all depressed finding out that on her birthday, we're all old and she started worrying about people going to her party. and then one of my aunts go and say, "she (meaning me), may be old but at that time she probably has a baby already..."
and i was like... NAT! i mean i get it, i'm not really the type of girl ANY guy would want to have, let alone marry! back in the day, i can barely keep a guy interested in me for more than 5 seconds, nowadays, I'VE LOST THAT 5 SECONDS!
this is funny yes, but as early as now, i'm actually accepting my fate that maybe i am going to be without a partner (i say partner because no matter what i am still going to have a kid, with or without a partner)
so if i think about it, TECHNICALLY, what my aunt said is true.
oh what the fuck who am i kidding? i feel bad. period.
Friday, April 8, 2011
hundred-forty sixth.
dear (k)you,
SERIOUSLY! I HAVE TO WRAP YOU INSIDE BUBBLE WRAP!! DO NOT SCARE ME LIKE THAT (not that you care about my feelings but still). PLEASE BE CAREFUL! YOU ARE A WALKING ACCIDENT AND MY POOR HEART HURTS SEEING (okay hearing) THAT YOU ARE LOCKED UP IN A HOSPITAL AGAIN!
OAO, please oh please. keep him safe okay?
SERIOUSLY! I HAVE TO WRAP YOU INSIDE BUBBLE WRAP!! DO NOT SCARE ME LIKE THAT (not that you care about my feelings but still). PLEASE BE CAREFUL! YOU ARE A WALKING ACCIDENT AND MY POOR HEART HURTS SEEING (okay hearing) THAT YOU ARE LOCKED UP IN A HOSPITAL AGAIN!
OAO, please oh please. keep him safe okay?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
hundred-forty fifth.
dear (k)you,
how much of a loser am i really? i made this really really long post. and then boom! just like that it was gone. but i won't be deterred! actually i was, but then i thought, FUCK THIS! so i am going to try and write it again, from the heart. might not be as heartfelt as the original, but WHAT THE HELL I DON'T CARE!
so there. a lot's been happening to me lately. mostly, just to remind me what a loser i am.
1: so i was being bored to death by the internet when i accidentally came across... this thing. so i checked it out, and then boom! this guy is suddenly all over. in my dreams, everywhere. he is like the hottest thing EVER. hotter than you, i'm sorry. but yeah. and then it got me thinking, i could get over my freak ass obsession over you. maybe that was OAO's way of letting me "see" other people.
2: but no, i guess not. see you know i have this thing with makeup videos right? so i was doing my regular check of those i frequently view and then for some celestial reason, i check out this lady. i mean, on a normal day i wouldn't check her out since she had a low number of views, plus she had bad reviews, but i still did. i was getting bored with her, but i stuck through it and right smack in the middle of her 9minute video, i hear something. my favorite song of you, and i laughed out loud.
3: is prolly the worst. so yeah. my friend invited me to his finally-graduating party and since i am in over my head to go out, i said yes right away. and then now, i find out that my asshole-ex boyfriend and the slut he cheated on me with will be there. it's not that i haven't gotten over him yet, i mean, he is one of the most worthless things i have ever had, i mean seriously, of no worth. and she is like... the same. but still, i can't help but feel sad that i am going there without a date! i mean how cool would that be to have a HOT date beside me to show them just how much i am worth?
so yeah. bottom line, i wish i could just pluck you from the stars and keep you here beside me just so i could show the world just how much i am worth.
oh who am i kidding. i'm worth nothing. I'M A LOSER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. and this proves it. fuck.
how much of a loser am i really? i made this really really long post. and then boom! just like that it was gone. but i won't be deterred! actually i was, but then i thought, FUCK THIS! so i am going to try and write it again, from the heart. might not be as heartfelt as the original, but WHAT THE HELL I DON'T CARE!
so there. a lot's been happening to me lately. mostly, just to remind me what a loser i am.
1: so i was being bored to death by the internet when i accidentally came across... this thing. so i checked it out, and then boom! this guy is suddenly all over. in my dreams, everywhere. he is like the hottest thing EVER. hotter than you, i'm sorry. but yeah. and then it got me thinking, i could get over my freak ass obsession over you. maybe that was OAO's way of letting me "see" other people.
2: but no, i guess not. see you know i have this thing with makeup videos right? so i was doing my regular check of those i frequently view and then for some celestial reason, i check out this lady. i mean, on a normal day i wouldn't check her out since she had a low number of views, plus she had bad reviews, but i still did. i was getting bored with her, but i stuck through it and right smack in the middle of her 9minute video, i hear something. my favorite song of you, and i laughed out loud.
3: is prolly the worst. so yeah. my friend invited me to his finally-graduating party and since i am in over my head to go out, i said yes right away. and then now, i find out that my asshole-ex boyfriend and the slut he cheated on me with will be there. it's not that i haven't gotten over him yet, i mean, he is one of the most worthless things i have ever had, i mean seriously, of no worth. and she is like... the same. but still, i can't help but feel sad that i am going there without a date! i mean how cool would that be to have a HOT date beside me to show them just how much i am worth?
so yeah. bottom line, i wish i could just pluck you from the stars and keep you here beside me just so i could show the world just how much i am worth.
oh who am i kidding. i'm worth nothing. I'M A LOSER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. and this proves it. fuck.
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