hundred-forty fifth.

dear (k)you,

how much of a loser am i really? i made this really really long post. and then boom! just like that it was gone. but i won't be deterred! actually i was, but then i thought, FUCK THIS! so i am going to try and write it again, from the heart. might not be as heartfelt as the original, but WHAT THE HELL I DON'T CARE!

so there. a lot's been happening to me lately. mostly, just to remind me what a loser i am.

1: so i was being bored to death by the internet when i accidentally came across... this thing. so i checked it out, and then boom! this guy is suddenly all over. in my dreams, everywhere. he is like the hottest thing EVER. hotter than you, i'm sorry. but yeah. and then it got me thinking, i could get over my freak ass obsession over you. maybe that was OAO's way of letting me "see" other people.

2: but no, i guess not. see you know i have this thing with makeup videos right? so i was doing my regular check of those i frequently view and then for some celestial reason, i check out this lady. i mean, on a normal day i wouldn't check her out since she had a low number of views, plus she had bad reviews, but i still did. i was getting bored with her, but i stuck through it and right smack in the middle of her 9minute video, i hear something. my favorite song of you, and i laughed out loud.

3: is prolly the worst. so yeah. my friend invited me to his finally-graduating party and since i am in over my head to go out, i said yes right away. and then now, i find out that my asshole-ex boyfriend and the slut he cheated on me with will be there. it's not that i haven't gotten over him yet, i mean, he is one of the most worthless things i have ever had, i mean seriously, of no worth. and she is like... the same. but still, i can't help but feel sad that i am going there without a date! i mean how cool would that be to have a HOT date beside me to show them just how much i am worth?

so yeah. bottom line, i wish i could just pluck you from the stars and keep you here beside me just so i could show the world just how much i am worth.

oh who am i kidding. i'm worth nothing. I'M A LOSER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. and this proves it. fuck.