hundred-fiftieth.

dear (k)you,

so you prolly heard about it, since the world was talking about it... a few days ago some people predicted that it would be the end of the world. and i'm prolly the only non-believer who was actually disappointed that it didn't come true (okay so, i guess being disappointed means i AM a believer... but no not really. i can't explain it)

anyhoo.. i really wanted to say: world, you disappointed me. but i didn't want to risk people saying i was crazy enough to even hope that that stupid predication was actually true.

but see here, the only reason i wanted it to come true is... because i am a selfish brat. yes. i admit it. i only want the world to end because it's the only sane reason (although i'm not so sure about the sane part), or maybe excuse that i can actually end this bitter sadness that is my life. this morning, my best friend has migrated to the US already. and 3/4 of my heart is sad because she's physically gone, but the remaining 1/4 is bitter because, yes, i wish it were me! i wish i also had a ticket out of this hell aka my life. and the only ticket i can see is either 1) a winning lottery ticket (which WOULD NEVER HAPPEN) and 2) the end of the world (which as proven WOULD NEVER HAPPEN EITHER.

so to put it straight... me getting out of this hell hole. me getting out of this unhappiness. me being happy again...

WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

oh yeah. i am such a little ray of sunshine no?