Wednesday, July 11, 2012

hundred-ninety eighth.

dear (k)you,

hi. tonight is one of those nights. i'm sad. i'm drinking. i'm smoking (surprise! after looong time, i finally dug up my stash). i'm lonely. i'm actually randomly crying. i'm listening to fucking sad songs. and for the first time in a long time.....

... it's not because of you.

and honestly, i think i was happier when i was all consumed by you. the person isn't really worth all this, it's mostly me. me realizing how unworthy i am of any admiration, love, whatever shit this is called. i really don't like it. i liked it better when i was living in my imaginary world with you and me. i always knew you and me was never going to happen, and to be honest that gave me cushion. i liked that cushion.

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