two hundred-sixth.

dear (k)you,

hey, long time huh? anyway. i'm pretty sad right now, but well, no not really. see, i have this friend. and the truth is, when all is said and done, he's really very unfair. everybody has to bend over backwards just to satisfy his every whim. i mean, he's been like that for the longest time. and i only took notice of it now. since, he's being such an ass-- to me. i mean, the thing is, i did do something wrong. i acknowledge it. i asked sorry. and he said not to worry about it. but he still fucking acts like i've done him wrong. i mean, what's up with that? seriously. you already acknowledged my saying sorry! but you're being such a primadonna! but whatever, i can't ever say these things to his face. the thing is, i'm even more scared of him than anyone, because i know how he gets mad. since i was part of his inner circle before. and i know how he operates. and trust me, you wouldn't want to be on the opposite side from him. 

but whatever. our other friend already told him that he wasn't without fault, so i guess it's just a matter of time. and at the very least, he'll graduate already, and i'll be left behind. perhaps life would be a lot more peaceful for me then.

yeah. time will be my friend.

two hundred-fifth.

dear (k)you,

i think i'm about to get screwed up. i know it's not right, and it's puuure evil, but i really hope something BIG will happen in my life. so big that i will have no choice but to stop whatever it is i am doing right now (coughschoolcough) and pick up from there. i mean, if wwIII suddenly starts, i doubt if they will ever let us go back there in that hell hole right? or if this super country decides to use my country as war ground. i mean, this place isn't really something worth saving. it's really not going anywhere but down anyway. but yeah. it'd be great if something like that happens and i'll be shipped off to some other country. a change of scenery would be most welcome. 

but alas, i don't think it'll ever happen anytime soon. i'll just have to suck it up. i really do wish i have that remote thing from that movie. if i could just fast forward to that event. just that one fast forward will do. or i could just close my eyes and when i open them... i'm already there. but whatever. it's only a few more months. i'll get there. i've already gone through 3 years, what's a few more months eh?

but just in case OAO is listening. please burn the school! they'll probably have no choice then. fucking asspricks.

two hundred-fourth.

dear (k)you,

tonight, after a very very very long time, i wonder how you are. seriously, i haven't thought about you for the longest time since i started this thing. really. the only time i remember you is when i type "(k)you", but after i press the publish button, i honestly forget about you.

a majority of it is because of school. majority. but the remaining would be because of me. i think, and i don't know if i ever said this before or not, but i think i'm starting to get over you. and i don't like the feeling. 

cuz honestly, i feel alone. more alone than normal that is.

without you, it's like i put a nail on it. i made it "official", that i AM alone.

and it's lonely. i don't like it.

and least with you, i had something imaginary. but now, imagination doesn't even cut it anymore.

reality has finally caught up.

piss off.

ps: i read the post again, and i did NOT make sense. pfft.

two hundred-third.

dear (k)you,

pardon me. this one is for a little boy i know.

i've known you for quite some time now (5 years i think?), and frankly, you're still the little boy i met. you still have the same body structure, the same face (okay maybe not so much, you've gotten a bit of stress all over), and sadly, the same attitude. yeap. you're still a little boy.

i prolly won't ever admit this, but i want you to grow up. grow up and see me as someone more than an older girl. as someone more than your friend. 

cuz like what you said, i am in your friendzone as much as you are in mine. but the thing is, i would get you out of that zone in a heartbeat.

thought you should know.

now, back to our regular programming... (k)you on the other hand, you won't ever be in my friendzone. and quite frankly, i won't be ever in yours, although our zones are very different from each other. 

but anyway. there. maybe it's time i talk about someone else. i'm pretty sure if i talk about the asshole again, it'd be more than what he deserves.