hundred-fifteenth.

dear (k)you,

for lack of better things to do, i'm gonna join the bandwagon and make myself a new year's resolution.

or more accurately, a list of things, i might or might not do, depending on my mood. these lists aren't meant to be followed anyway.

so yeah...

1: i'm still going to continue dieting. i dunno why tho, but well, wouldn't hurt. i guess it's my way of reassuring myself that i could be worthy of your second glance, seeing as you will be coming here in 2 months time (fuck the world i won't be there to see you like i did before)

2: i'm going to try and be mature, after 22 years. it's high time i do, since most of the people i'm being immature at are, well, mature already - i think. and even if they're not, well, even better that i start it. don't you think?

3: i'm going to not be lazy. okay, this is highly unlikely, although i really do have to suck it up, at least for this year. once i get past the hurdle of 3-1, i might feel better about myself already. i may not have that diploma yet when i get to clinics, but at least i'm a clinician and not some no good average student that cannot do shit.

4: i try to love you more. hah. didn't see that one coming huh did you? see i had an epiphany like 5 seconds ago when i typed the number 4. see i keep telling myself to not like you, or to get over you, or to find the second best. but then i realized, if i think the other way around, i'd be attracting the same energy and possibly be able to get you to be with me. or to tempt OAO or the fate gods or what not.

so there it is. the not so new year's resolution list. course it all revolves around you. this whole thing is dedicated to you afterall.

ps: i have this really cute story: see my dad died almost 3 years ago right? so this christmas, my mom got called on by one of the friends, and gave her a card. it was from my dad, with a check for a small amount. it was a gift from him, from when he was still alive. it was a pleasant surprise really. so daddy-o. thanks, maybe next christmas it could be for me, in the form of this guy to whom this whole weird cyber shrine is dedicated to.

psyche.