two hundred-thirty seventh.

dear (k)you,

so, i don't know if i've written about this already, but if i have, i'll write again. i'm on bed-rest right now, so basically, there's nothing better to do. i've been caught up with all this les miserables hype ever since i've watched that 10th year anniversary video with my dad way way way back. and i know it's a freaking boring musical/play, but man! it still gets to you, after all these years. so, again, i was listening to one of my favorite songs, and basically, wallowing in the idea that it sums up my life. well, more or less.

so it goes:

i had a dream my life would be
so different from this hell i'm living
so different now from what it seemed
now (insert here a 4-letter word also to replace life) has killed the dream i dreamed.

because no matter how i look at it. this really isn't the life i dreamed. it's hell. i just wish it could be over already. or maybe better? i don't know.

a boyfriend seems to be out of the picture. no guy, i just found out, can actually stomach to be with me, since i'm too... me.

fuck.