two hundred-forty fifth.

dear (k)you,

before i start obsessing about him, i'll introduce him to you already. and then maybe, i could start "getting over" him. see i went into this summer vacay with some of my friends, and, call it desperation, but i went into boy-overdrive and got myself a hot aussie.

not that it was ever anything more than a night. i mean, sure i'm still having nonsense conversation with him until now, but that's just it. nonsense.

but anyway, he was supposed to be my step ladder out of this stupid pit i dug myself, but incidentally, since its me, i've managed to dig myself deeper into it.

classic. i swear. if i could have a birthday wish right now, i'd wish for either a reset button or a fast forward one, because i swear this is fucking bullcrap right now. and i don't want to deal with it anymore.

and speaking of birthdays. i know i said i've already gotten over him, but see this whole aussie issue needed to be written like it was actually calling me. and i take it as a sign. but i'm still pretty sure my feelings have, if not gotten even less, not changed. anyway, happy birthday little boy. you still little.