first.

just so you know, i've taken every precaution so you wouldn't find this. and if by some miracle you do, i've taken steps so you wouldn't know it's me.


i don't know why i'm even doing this right now. i guess i need an outlet, and a diary is really too cliche, don't you think? anyway, here you go, i will perpetually write you letters and pretend you can read them. this is my way.


here goes...


dear (k)you,


you were a big distraction today. i have a ton of exams coming, but i kept thinking of you. what you were doing, what you are feeling. can i ask you a favor? please don't do this in times like these. really, i'm barely hanging on.


although, you are a lucky charm. i'm gonna tell you why, this will be short, so bear with it for a while. 2 days ago, i had this exam. being me, i barely studied for it (because yes you were a distraction again. lmao) anyway, halfway through the exam, i knew i was in trouble. i wasn't sure of any of my answers. i was losing hope, already, thinking of the consequences if i failed this test. i was seated in front of the window and i gave up thinking and just watched a group of students file out of the lecture hall. and then i saw it. a group of guys were talking and one of them started dancing. i knew that dance. you used to dance that quite often (and you were better than him). before i realized it, i was smiling to myself. i shook my head, smiled and answered the remaining questions, with you dancing in my mind.
that afternoon, the results came out, and as you can guess, i passed that test. i just passed, by a few points. but i was one of the few who did (most of the class failed).


so to my lucky charm, thank you.
but still, don't distract me too much. i might not be able to handle it.