two hundred-sixty ninth.

dear (k)you,

i've been trying to get the douchebag out of my head for quite sometime now. and i think my stupid heart doesn't want to. so i think writing to you would help, actually i think it will put an end to it already.

i don't even know why i hang on to him so much. there wasn't a connection. i know i made it all up in my head. in my desperate attempt to get out of this rut i've put myself in, i have resorted to making things up in my head. and i hate myself for using the douchebag as the star of this so called fantasy.

OAO, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. REALLY. I DON'T WANT TO FILL MY HEAD and heart WITH SILLY THOUGHTS. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WON'T ALLOW IT. 

yes. this time, i know you won't allow it. it's just not how things work. because it's me.

but since i'm already letting things out, let me just say that there's also this little part of me that would like to ask you nicely, if maybe, you could pull some strings and throw cupid in our paths. it worked once. maybe, you know, you could make it work again. i think i'm a nice enough person to deserve love already.

just saying. putting it out there finally. and letting it stay there.

and to the douchebag, i'd just like to say, since you've been bugging me, and this song's been on constant repeat ever since i heard it...

"you light up the room. and you won't even know. it's all i can do, to leave you alone... oh, my darling to know you know me, it's enough."

and to me, "i loathe you"

and to (k)you, thank you for putting up with me.