i think i should be buried alive, no, something worse than that. i have the worst faith in my friends. it turns out, they didn't really "desert" me yesterday, it was all in my head (my mind is really dangerous when it's been alone the whole time). apparently, it was really nothing, they are just like that, my friends are NOT clingy people.
i shouldn't be too. no one ever liked being clingy. and usually, those rare people that do, are... well... complete assholes (yes exboyfriend i am looking at you)
i guess all this being lonely just made me feel like i need someone to be with me.
fuck. i hate that this ended up here. AGAIN. is there ever an end to this self-pitying that i do?
i guess not. so OAO is prolly laughing His mighty ass (i am so going to hell for this) off watching me. and He's prolly not going to give me what i want until i stop it with all this drama.
believe me, i do. i really do want to stop this!
but to my scumbag brain, Y U ALWAYS THINK OF HIM WHO I'LL NEVER HAVE.
scumbag brain, scumbag heart.
ps: this is the first time i actually did 2 entries on successive days, after a very, very, very,
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