hundred seventy-fifth.

dear (k)you,

it's been a while huh? i actually told myself i would TRY my best to forget, rather, push you out of my life mind. but well, when did my plans ever go right anyway? but to my credit, i almost succeeded (for more than a month or so). see, i went to this vacation, to the city where dreams are made, and i fell in love. for a moment, i wanted to literally leave everything behind and run away. OAO knows how many people have run away and took refuge in that city anyway, i wouldn't be much of a difference.

oh and i shouldn't regret to mention that i also fell in love with a human being (yes, i am capable of doing that too, even though he is as much, if not more, unattainable as you are, but whatever). see, you know that i have this sick attachment to the number 17 right? and well, i saw him, with that number, so yeah, basically my scumbag brain interpreted it as us (him and me) being meant to be and shit, and started making up all these bizarre situations that we magically fall in love with each other in the city where i want to build the rest of my life. so yeah, of course OAO isn't going to be one-upped by my brain, and i ended up back here, home, probably less of a person as i was when i started the trip.

the good thing though was that for a while i seem to have forgotten you. HAH. see i am capable of doing it, albeit a short time. but yeah. and then i had to go and look at stupid pictures of you, and look at old videos of you i had shoved in somewhere. and my scumbag heart started that weird beat thing again. so yeah. fuck me.

ps: i did get a new laptop though. this is my first time writing to you in it, so yay! baptism of.. hm, let's call him "gyu". just because.

pps: so i tell myself, welcome back. 

ppps: this is the 175th post. which eerily feels like hunger games-ish. meh. may the odds be ever in my favor. pft.